April 8, 2012

Stick a fork in me.....I am done!!!

Voo Doo doughnuts in Portland, OR

This has been me for the last few months.  There has been a lot on my plate and I kept denying that is was bothering me at all.  Until I noticed something......dust on my sewing machine.  I don't sew every day, but I sew several days a month.  I was cruising through blocks and projects and then everything just stopped.  Now, this is no new post - and one that has been shared by numerous individuals time and time again.  However, I find it very therapeutic to say it out loud.  I over committed in my private life, I was volunteered and over commited by my job and I WAY over committed myself in my sewing life. 

I came back on a high from the Sewing Summit and hit the ground running.  I also met a ton of COOL girls who had such great blogs, readership, etc.  I suddenly found myself desiring the same thing.  What I did not consider is to do one thing more means other things must decrease.  Instead, I attempted to do it all.  I began sewing what others were doing or what seemed the popular thing to do.  The dust on my machine spoke so much to me.....I stopped sewing what I wanted to make and started striving to be other people.  We all do this in so many aspects of our lives, so it isn't anything new I am talking about here.  My coworkers started asking when I would bring in more of my sewing items.  I cringed every time someone at work/friends asked me to make something (which isn't me!!).

So - I went into my craft room and threw out half the projects I had on papers and only kept the ones I really wanted to make.  I have a few more commitments to follow through on - and then I will stop committing to every thing under the sun.  I also realized all the cool people I have met and who have thousands of followers......they are wonderful people with truly awesome abilities to sew and reach people....and that is not my lot in life.  AND - that's ok.  The fact that even one person out there finds my crafting remotely interesting is like having thousands of followers :).

Since letting go and prioritizing my machine has begun to make noise and my awesome new craft room built by the hubs is being used as it should.....to bring me joy.  My job as an Oncology Social Worker has days that include cancer patients being evicted or houses foreclosed on, the horror of watching a disease alter relationships and lives and the unpredictable moments of death.  Sewing allows my mind to process the things I witness and to make peace with the things I have been unable to bring about change for my clients each day.  I find joy and smiles when I make something.  I find peace in the sound of my machine and the consistent up and down motion of my needle.  I find love in the finished products I make or in the items made by others through swaps.  AND that is what I need to be reminded of daily..... I am a pretty awesome girl with a fun hobby that includes a community of pretty awesome women across the world.  Let me remember to focus on that when life makes me feel like a voo doo doughnut (although - I would be pretty tasty...wink).


  1. I completely understand and agree with you: it is soooo easy to get lost in inspiration and others request!

    It can be really hard to seperate the inspiration from these wonderful persons/bloggers from what is truly YOU. It is hard not to measure yourself against those 3 perfectly pieced quilts per month... They really, truly are beautiful and bursting with inspiration! But they should remain just that: inspiration to go do YOUR stuff, in your rythm, for you to enjoy making. That is oh so true!!
    I realized this too, recently. So I just save this and that input onto my laptop and then I go back from time to time and have a look: sometimes the inspiration is still present, sometimes it just fades and can be deleted :)

    Good that you have found your way! Now go do what you feel like in that wonderful studio, made with love!!

  2. I am so with you on this. The inspiration out there is a bit much at times especially when you love it all. Some times I need to check myself and tell myself to just follow along instead of joining in to another project I don't have time for. Then I just work little by little on the things I really want to do.

  3. You can maybe tell that I've been in the same place - by the fact that I'm commenting on this post three months after the fact...

    I've not been following blogs very closely but went through my sidebar list tonight.

    I go through so many of those things on a weekly basis. struggling to find my own style my own way of things. Trying not to try to be like the cool kids... yet not always succeeding in that. I keep trying to remember that my goals are not the same as theirs... but it doesn't always help. I hope you're doing well, blog or no blog. Your fabulous just how you are!


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