Stick a fork in me.....I am done!!!

Voo Doo doughnuts in Portland, OR

This has been me for the last few months.  There has been a lot on my plate and I kept denying that is was bothering me at all.  Until I noticed something......dust on my sewing machine.  I don't sew every day, but I sew several days a month.  I was cruising through blocks and projects and then everything just stopped.  Now, this is no new post - and one that has been shared by numerous individuals time and time again.  However, I find it very therapeutic to say it out loud.  I over committed in my private life, I was volunteered and over commited by my job and I WAY over committed myself in my sewing life. 

I came back on a high from the Sewing Summit and hit the ground running.  I also met a ton of COOL girls who had such great blogs, readership, etc.  I suddenly found myself desiring the same thing.  What I did not consider is to do one thing more means other things must decrease.  Instead, I attempted to do it all.  I began sewing what others were doing or what seemed the popular thing to do.  The dust on my machine spoke so much to me.....I stopped sewing what I wanted to make and started striving to be other people.  We all do this in so many aspects of our lives, so it isn't anything new I am talking about here.  My coworkers started asking when I would bring in more of my sewing items.  I cringed every time someone at work/friends asked me to make something (which isn't me!!).

So - I went into my craft room and threw out half the projects I had on papers and only kept the ones I really wanted to make.  I have a few more commitments to follow through on - and then I will stop committing to every thing under the sun.  I also realized all the cool people I have met and who have thousands of followers......they are wonderful people with truly awesome abilities to sew and reach people....and that is not my lot in life.  AND - that's ok.  The fact that even one person out there finds my crafting remotely interesting is like having thousands of followers :).

Since letting go and prioritizing my machine has begun to make noise and my awesome new craft room built by the hubs is being used as it should.....to bring me joy.  My job as an Oncology Social Worker has days that include cancer patients being evicted or houses foreclosed on, the horror of watching a disease alter relationships and lives and the unpredictable moments of death.  Sewing allows my mind to process the things I witness and to make peace with the things I have been unable to bring about change for my clients each day.  I find joy and smiles when I make something.  I find peace in the sound of my machine and the consistent up and down motion of my needle.  I find love in the finished products I make or in the items made by others through swaps.  AND that is what I need to be reminded of daily..... I am a pretty awesome girl with a fun hobby that includes a community of pretty awesome women across the world.  Let me remember to focus on that when life makes me feel like a voo doo doughnut (although - I would be pretty tasty...wink).